An Extra Larger Order of CHICKEN Please!

Sometimes in life you hold something inside for long enough that is starts affecting you mentally and physically. I am not going to waste anytime beating around the bush like I usually do. I am talking about confessing to someone that you really like them a lot. I think it was about time I did it.

You know fate would have it that I said something that I really wanted to say on a day like Valentine’s Day. The funny thing is that mine is the voice on the Radio Station in Bangalore attempting to get Bangalore into a rather romantic mood. Over the last couple of days you may have heard things like… “Keeping trying your luck…its Valentine’s week”…or… “Come on time is running out”… “Get smooth this Valentines day.”

I was driving to work this morning and was finding it hard to get my guts together…then all of a sudden I found inspiration in lines I had recorded and were playing on my radio station. You know I never thought that of all the people in the world, I would end up saying what I truly felt on Valentine’s Day. All of a sudden yesterday I was listening to a show on the radio and the Jock said, “If you would like to tell someone how you feel, there is no better time than now.” All of a sudden my passive listening turned into a call to action. I had been waiting for way too long.

You know the last time that actually did blog was on the 12th of January. Even on that day I really wanted to say something on my blog but rested after just saying something very briefly in my concluding sentence. Worse still at that time I was already overdue on my personal commitment to say what I really thought I should say.

As I was saying earlier, this whole thing weighs on you over a period of time. After a certain amount of time I think I personally started to feel that I was being deceitful to the one person I hold in great regard by most certainly being dishonest to time. I was high time I told her something.

Trust me, not a day has past all though this year when I have not thought I should tell her what I really feel. Then, on Friday morning while I was still struggling to open my eyes for the long day ahead, I received a call from my best friend in Chennai. His simple words kept echoing in my mind… “Tell her how you feel.”

With great determination, I started my day with the sole aim of telling her how I really felt. But fate plays funny games with us. I never got to see her on Friday. Unfortunate as it may seem, the weekend passed by with no better luck. Sometime late in the evening on Sunday, the whole thing hit me all over again…What would I say? How would I say it? What would my punch line be? How would I react to what she would say? Could I just be a chicken and tell her and RUN? Ahhhh…there I had it staring me in the face. The ‘I am a chicken approach was always a good one?’ Never really met anyone who has a success story attached to the Chicken Approach…but it should work…since I have never met anyone who has experienced failure with the same method.

How bad could it be??? Say what you want to…run and never have to hear what the other person said…live happily ever after in an illusion. Wonderful!!! “Can I have one Chicken Approach with a regular Pepsi and fries…on the go please!”

And there you have it…Monday morning. All ready for a hit and run. But this fate thing is like a pimple at puberty. The bugger keeps coming back. Monday was not my day. I think I woke up in the morning and on my way to work stopped off for an all important cup of tea. The sun was shining brightly and I said to myself… “Today does not feel like it.” I think I gave the guy at the Chicken counter, GUTS instead of BUCKS. Damn this fate crap.

Missed the opportunity all through the day. Finally I did what any self respecting man would not do… yes… I took the ‘Large Order of Chicken’…otherwise called ‘The phone call routine’. Hey stop judging me. Atleast I was not going to send her an SMS…that is like the ‘Extra Large Order of Chicken.’

So…my pride (Ha ha) in hand, I sent her an SMS. No no…I am not going Extra Large Chicken on you…I sent her an SMS to see if she was awake. At the same time to get a bit of an adenine rush, I switched on the playstation and started playing NBA LIVE. Yes…what a game. Now somewhere at the end of the first quarter of the game, she messaged back saying she was awake. This would be around 11:17 in the night. Lovely…excellent…what am I saying…lets be honest…I was wishing she was asleep. But she wasn’t. But I still needed some of that adenine rush…(Rohit you shameless CHICKEN) so I continued playing the entire game. At about half past the hour, I picked up my phone, and dialed her number. I had no idea what I was going to say, but I though that the words would come out when I got to the moment.

Earlier in the evening I had tried to script something, just incase I forgot what I was going to say. Later that became points and then I got butter fingers and decided…lets just do this on the fly….after all…I just had to be honest. Simple.

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Deep Breath

Hello!

Ring Ring

Ring Ring

Hmmmm…looks like she has gone to sleep…yippee.

Now…I just have 25 minutes to Valentines Day. She is asleep. I cannot sleep. And I feel like a cheat and a dishonest soul. And that bugger fate knocks on my door.

“Hello”, I say. “I was not expecting you. But you seem to be here anyway. I am not going to fight you anymore dude. Ok so I will be one of THOSE people who say what they feel on Valentines day…but dude…I think it is just coincidence it happens to be the day when I finally got my act together…as far as I am concerned, it is a TUESDAY…and not Valentines Day when I am going to tell her what I feel”

FATE: “Whatever helps you sleep at night mate. Good night.”

Anyways, as you can see I don’t like this FATE chap too much. He has quite a loud mouth and likes to have his way. I hate people like that. I never listen to them.

TUESDAY MORNING

I wake up kind of late. On my way to work I stop by for a cup of tea. Something makes me say out loud, “Today is the day.” (Fate Sniggers)

Its not valentine’s day…it is Tuesday.

(In the distance and unknown voice… “Whatever Dude”)

Ok…I run through the day…minutes seemed like seconds. Seconds lost their importance. And I was staring at 6:15 on my watch. Damn you Rohit…Tell her…

And then I did. I looked for a moment of isolation. Got none. Created one and then…to her smiling expectant face, said something I have never said before.

“I have something to tell you”

“Is it about X, Y, Z…”

She kept interrupting...I needed to get more focused and stop leaving long pauses in between my words for her to interrupt. Focus ROHIT FOCUS. (BTW…Fate was smiling somewhere in the background. The scoundrel!)

And then I told her what I wanted to…

All I did was say what I truly and honestly felt. It should have been the toughest thing I have ever said, but it wasn’t. It seemed easier than speaking unprepared at a School elocution completion. I have never been so honest in my life. I usually know what people want to hear and tell them exactly what they need to hear to make them happy. But this time around, honest made me eloquent.

The funny thing is that I don’t quite remember what I said, but it was something to the effect, that you are an amazing person and I really really like you.

I don’t quite think she was expecting what I said. She on the other hand told me that I am a really good friend and her past will keep her single for a long time in the future.

Hmmm…

She then told me that this is going to make things weird between us. Then in the very next sentence she said, “I guess it must have been quite weird for you all this time though.”

Punch line time: ROHIT: Yes…but why should I be the only person feeling weird…you should fell weird as well…and so…I am here before you tell you what I really feel.

Boom!!!

She says with a big smile on her face (which I do not think has anything to do with me) “I don’t know what to say.”

Rohit: I don’t expect you to say anything. I told you what I felt. I just felt I needed to be honest.

With that I was in the studio at 7 pm taking over the drive time show. Some of my listeners asked me how it went…I told them the truth…I met up with an old mate for dinner…got home…I feel great. I have a smile on my face and a spring in my leap. It feels good to be honest...I played NBA LIVE and creamed the oposition !!! What a Game man!!!

Tomorrow is another day.